Why Do Some People Criticize People

While someone can be in a position where they always find people to criticise, this might only take place from time to time. When it comes to what they can relate to, it could all depend on what mood they are in.

As a result of this, the people around them might prefer to keep their distance if they are not in the right mood. At the same time, a number of the people in their life could be just as critical as they are.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Yet, if they these people have the tendency to respond to life in the same way, it is not going to be much of a surprise. What one person says is then generally going to validate what the rest of them say.

Still, even though they will have each other’s support, this support is not going to allow them to grow. This is something that would take place if they were to spend time with people who question them.

The Same Direction

However, if one doesn’t want to change, there is going to be no reason for them to spend time with these kinds of people. The people in their life will give them the feedback that they desire, and one will return the favour.

And as far as they are concerned, they might believe that there is nothing wrong with being critical. In their eyes, the alternative could be for them to simply accept what they see, and this is unlikely to be something that they are willing to do.

Growth and Development

Now, it is clear that people can only change something if they realise that it needs to be changed. Therefore, if one is not aware of something, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything about it.

Even so, there is more than one way for someone to realise that something isn’t right, and putting them down is rarely the best approach to take. As even though this could encourage someone to change, it could also end up having the opposite effect.

Conflict

It could then be normal for them to annoy and upset others, and they could have a number of enemies. But even if someone doesn’t react negatively to what they say, it doesn’t mean that this is because they agree with what has been said.

What it could show is that they prefer to keep their views to themselves, and so when they are not around them, they might not have anything good to say about them. If this is case, it is not going to be any different to what they may say about them in their own mind.

Destruction

If one has people around them, it might not bother them how people respond to what they say. What could also make a difference here is if one is in a position if power, as this could allow them to get away with things that other people can’t.

It is then not that they are critical of others, it is that they know what they are talking about, and this gives them the right to be this way. But this doesn’t mean that they won’t end up pushing a lot of people away, or that they always know best.

Partners Prior To Their Marriage

Marriage is the most important decision in a person’s life, and a host of factors are at the back of a person’s mind when he is planning to get married. Some of these are finding joy in the relationship, finding blessings from elders and love from those younger, and discovering a relationship which is long lasting and enduring.

It may be tough to achieve these, but by the means of astrologycompatibility, these can be achieved.

Lets run through the five major things that an astrologers looks for while preparing a chart compatibility report:-

1. ASCENDANT SIGNS AND ASCENDANT LINKS

It is often easier for an individual to guess your ascendant sign than your sun sign, because the ascendant sign is the face you present to the world. It’s really the default or automatic way of dealing with life. This makes the ascendant sign a basic essential for checking the compatibility between two individuals.

2. PLACEMENT OF SUNS AND MOONS

How the sun and moons are placed again exemplifies how well the energies gel in. Additionally, this gives us a clue about the existence of a conflict.

One must know the houses where the respective suns and moons are. That gives us an idea as to where both partners are concentrating their emotional energies.

For an instance, if both are career oriented, it doesn’t augur well for theirfamily life. Overall, the placement exemplifies how the important energies are integrated in a couple.

3. VENUS AND MARS LINKS

Venus is the planet of romance while Mars is the planet of passion. For compatibility, an astrologer checks the position of these planets, and tries to locate angles and aspects amongst them.

A certain degree of tension does the trick, and is vital for sexual magnetism as well. Now if the links in between the two birth charts are only harmonious, it could make the real life boring!

So an astrologer needs to skillfully look at the placement of other planets as well.

For instance, Uranus lets us know where surprises lie in a relationship, while Pluto tells us about power struggles. Jupiter speaks of optimism and joy, and in the same way, Saturn lets us know of responsibility. Through Mercury, we know of communication issues and so on.

4. WHO COMPLETES WHO?

An astrologer invariably takes pains to figure out if each of the partners individually has something which the other partner lacks.

Just as an instance, if one of the partners has a lot of planets in water signs, an astrologer works towards figuring out if that balances the lack of water in a partner’s birthchart. The vital link here invariably is whether two people need each other or depend on each other in any way.

So this can give us a great deal of idea about chart compatibility, and also the longevity of a relationship.

How to make he loves you so much

images-15Some women have this “thing” that attracts all the men in a 20-square foot vicinity. Most women can’t identify what that is, but most men will be able to identify it and will hone in like bees to a hive. Women might think she’s beautiful, has a great body, dresses well or knows how to flirt. But even when she’s dressed in baggy clothes, without make-up and not flirting, men still seem to notice her. What is the secret and can you do it?

There is no real secret, and yes you can do it. The biggest factor is confidence! When you are confident in who you are, you’re more apt to smile, laugh, relax and flirt. Each of these actions will attract the opposite sex. In a sea of people, he’ll notice the woman who is confident, smiling and laughing no matter how she looks or her body type.

Smiling and laughing will put the guy at ease, you seem more approachable and easy going. Guys like that in a woman. Make eye contact with the man and smile; just a slight curving of your mouth that rises all the way to your eyes. Then look away and get back to talking with your friends. Look again and smile. Then look away again. This give and take creates tension.

Some guys are attracted to women who don’t look like they are trying too hard. Wearing low cut dresses, too much make-up and jewelry may signal a woman who is hard to maintain and not easy to watch sports with. And, let’s face it, most men have different interests than you do. If you want to have a strong relationship, you’ll learn to compromise and enjoy each other’s activities. If it looks like you won’t even try, then he won’t either.

Some guys like a woman with enough self-confidence to approach him and others are put off by what they feel are aggressive women. There is no real way to know which is which by just ‘looking at them.’ So, if you want him to notice and approach you, it’s time to start flirting from across the room. You can do that dressed in baggy sweats and without make-up. It doesn’t matter how you look in your own eyes, only your self-confidence in your self-worth.

Body language is important. When your legs and arms are crossed, shoulders tense and face full of lines from stress you are putting out signals that you aren’t interested, no matter if you ARE interested. Don’t be engrossed in texting your friends or surfing the Internet on your smart phone. Keep your attention on the room, your friends and the people who are interested in you. Point your feet toward the man you want to notice you and lean your body in that direction, even when your head is turned slightly in the other direction to talk with your friends.

The one thing you should NEVER do is appear desperate for attention. This is a sure turn off for any man who will turn tail and run. You might not be a desperate needy woman, but first impressions are incredibly important. When you come across as desperate, he’ll think you are needy and without any self-confidence.

We all want to be noticed and appreciated for who we are. The interesting thing is that when you appreciate yourself, you are more apt to attract a man who appreciates you. So get started learning to love who you are, your face, your body, your personality and yourself. It won’t be long before someone notices exactly how wonderful you really are!

Childs Self Esteem

How to build your child’s self esteem. Self-esteem is about liking who we are, and how we value ourselves. It is how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others. Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, our work, and nearly every part of our lives.

For children, it comes from knowing that they’re loved, accepted, secured and that they belong to a family that values them. It’s often been said that children learn what they live. So if you’re looking for a place to start helping your child build positive self-esteem and self value, then you should show them your positive sense of self and strong self-esteem. Be positive when you speak about yourself and highlight your strengths. This will teach your child that it’s okay to be proud of their talents, skills and abilities.

“Self-esteem is your child’s passport to a lifetime of mental health and social happiness. It’s the foundation of a child’s well-being and the key to success as an adult. At all ages.” Ask Dr. Sears

Your child also benefits greatly from honest and positive praise. Find something about them to praise each day. You could even give your child a task you know they can complete and then praise them for a job well done after they’re finished. Give her/him compliments as often as possible. Whenever they do something right, you can say: “I am very proud of you”, “you are very special”, or “I like the way you have done it”. Show your child that a positive act merits a positive praise.

When your child’s feeling sad, angry or depressed, communicate openly, honestly and patiently with them. Listen to them without judging or criticizing. They may not fully understand why they feel the way they do, so the opportunity to communicate with you about it may be what’s needed to help them sort through a difficult situation. Suggest positive behaviours and options as solutions, and make sure to leave that door of communication open so they know the next time they feel badly, they can come to you for help and know that you won’t judge or punish them for how they’re feeling.

“Discipline is helping a child solve a Problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solution not retribution.” ― L.R. Knost

Teach your child a sense of purpose, the importance of setting goals and developing a plan to meet that goal and complete that task. Your child should have goals that give him/her purpose and direction and an avenue for channelling his/her energy toward achievement and self-expression. Small projects are the best to start off with in the beginning. Ensure that it’s an appropriate task for your child, and not too complex. Don’t only give praise at the end of the project, but praise their accomplishments during the project as well.

“Self-esteem is the real magic wand that can form a child’s future. A child’s self-esteem affects every area of her existence” ― Stephanie Marston

Give your child a sense of responsibility, a chance to show you what he/she is capable of doing. Let him/her to engage in tasks without being checked on all the time. This shows trust on your part, a sense of letting go.

Be proud of your child, and let her/him know that how proud and fortunate you are to be her/his parents. Never compare your child to others saying, “Why aren’t you like Mary?” And when others make such comparisons, make sure that your child knows she/he is special and unique in her/his own way.

Most importantly, tell your child “I love you” each and every day. Show love and affection to your child many times throughout the day, in fact. All our dealings with our children, starting from infancy, should be done with a lot of affection and love. A baby who is dealt with love and affection will get a subconscious feeling that she/he is worthy and important enough to be loved. When they’ve behaved badly or have done something negative, remind yourself that it’s not them you don’t like, only their behaviour. Criticize their actions, not them, say to your child, “You are such a good and special child, you should not be engaging in such an activity,” instead of saying, “you are a bad child”. Tuck short, sweet and loving notes in their lunchboxes or coat pockets, or even send them a card in the mail. Soon, they’ll learn to say “I love you” just as easily and honestly in return.

“Parents are provided with a unique, never-to-be-repeated opportunity to set up a “self-esteem bank account” in which the child will store many positive things about him or herself. In the years and decades to come, this “bank account” will balance out negative experiences, which are unavoidable”.

Someone Who Is Abusive

images-17When someone’s relationship comes to an end, they can have to the need to carry on with their life. There is then going to be no reason for them to spend time talking about the person they were with.

The Reason

If this is because it ended badly, it will be normal for them to want to put the past behind them. And if they were to spend time talking about the other person, it would have a negative effect on their well-being.

It will be far better for them to live in the present moment, and to have moments when they think about what they would like to achieve in the future. Also, if they are looking to start a new relationship, this will make it easier for them to so.

Caught Up

As if one’s mind is focused on what happened with their ex, it can make it harder for them to attract someone else. For example, if one is holding onto something, it will stop them from being able to pick something else up.

In the same way, if one is energetically attached to someone else, it can stop them from being able open the door to someone new. Or, if they were to attract someone, they could find that they are not available.

A Reflection

If they were in touch with what is taking place within them, this could be something that doesn’t surprise them. On one hand, it could be frustrating, but on the other, it could make them laugh.

However, when one is not aware of how their outer world is mirroring their inner world, it could set them up to see themselves as a victim. The other person could then be seen as being the one who needs to change.

Another Experience

Their lack of self-awareness can then cause them to suffer unnecessarily, and it could take a while for their life to change. Yet, even if their relationship didn’t end badly, it still doesn’t mean that they will want to talk about it.

As far as they are concerned, it’s over, and now it is important for them to move on with their life. So regardless of why it ended, one is not going to want to wallow in the past, and this could be the best thing for them to do.

Avoidance

That is if one is truly able to move on, as opposed to this being a way for them to avoid what is taking place within them. When one does this to avoid how they feel, it is likely to be only a matter of time before what is taking place within them starts to affect their life.

In is then going to be in their best interest to get in touch with their body and to face their feelings. This is unlikely to be too pleasant in the short-term, but it will enable them to actually move on.

Speaking Out

Alternatively, one could end up talking about their ex, and this could be a time when they will give a balanced assessment of them. It is then not that they were all bad, but they were not completely good either.

And as no one on this planet is perfect, it might not be hard for other people to relate to what they are saying. What this could show is that one still loves them, but they are no longer in love with them.

They End Up In Abusive Relationships

When something works, there is generally going to be no reason for someone to take a closer look at it. One example of this is that when one has a car that works, they won’t need to take a look under the bonnet, for instance.

Yet, this would change if their car was to no longer run as it used to, and it would then be necessary for them to head down to a garage. Or, if they can’t start their car, they may need to have it picked up.

Relationships

Similarity, if one’s relationships are going fine, there is going to be no reason for them to look for information on how to improve them. The connections that they have with others are going to be fulfilling, and this will allow them to use their energy in other ways.

But if this wasn’t the case, it would essential for them to take a step back from their life and to look for answers. As if they were to carry on doing the same thing, their life is unlikely to improve.

Down Hill

In fact, there is a strong chance that it would end up getting even worse, and this could cause them to think about what their life would be like if they had taken action. There can then be the pain they are experiencing from having unfulfilling relationships, and the additional pain that is created trough not taking the time to do anything about it.

Still, if one has this experience, it can show that they believe they have the ability to do something about what is taking place. The alternative might be for them to see themselves as being a victim, and this will mean that they won’t believe there is anything they can do about their circumstances.

The Ideal

When one is able to look for guidance as soon as they realise there is a problem, it will stop them from having to go through all this. This will show that one doesn’t feel helpless, and that they believe they have what is takes to change their life.

It could be said that this shows that while it is the norm for people to do something about their car if it is not working, the same can’t be said for relationships. Instead, it can be normal for them to tolerate what is taking place.

Completely Different

One way of looking at this would be to say that this is due to the kind of conditioning that people receive throughout their life. As while the average person is unlikely to believe that they should put up with a car that doesn’t work, the same can’t be said when it comes to relationships that don’t work.

Regardless of what someone’s relationships are like, they can simply accept what is taking place. Or, if this is not the case, it could be something that they just go along with.

Part of Life

What this can come down to is no matter what one’s relationships are like; they can be in position where they have adjusted to them. This can be due to the amount of time that they have experienced life in this way.

And when it comes to what one’s relationships are like, it is highly likely that their childhood had a big effect. As a result of this, there is the chance that their relationships have been this way for a number of years.

Innovative Gifting Ideas for the Holiday Season

Diwali is almost here, everyone’s out shopping for gifts, maybe even wondering about the perfect gift for their loved ones.

People often end up spending a lot of time shopping for Diwali gifts. Sometimes they may have something specific that they would like to buy for their loved ones, and at other times, they may just drop down to a happening mall or their favorite gift shop, and figure out the stuff that would be a fine, innovative gifting idea for the holiday season.

One often ends up settling for some sweets or candies as a Diwali gift, but then, it’s always worth trying something different.

Let Diwali bring a little bit of magic, as you pass on the festive spirit to your loved ones. Fashion jewelry is the in thing, and could be one of the excellent gifting ideas for the holiday season.

Whenever one thinks of gifting jewelry as a Diwali gift, it could be the budget constraints that a person might be required to consider. But fashion jewelry, while being reasonably affordable, could be one of the heppest gifting ideas for the holiday season!

One could find a selection in one’s range, and the variety is abundant. So just by spending a few minutes online, one could find a tasteful pick for a friend, and that would reflect your genuine affection for your loved one.

People try out fashion jewelry for sheer sense of fashion; it reflects one’s taste, simply makes one look good, and classy too. One could mix and match fashion jewelry with one’s clothes, maybe find something that mingles perfectly with the accessories. But with jewelry and gemstones, a bit of magic simply comes into the picture.

Gemstones are associated with astrology; even one’s zodiac. It is very often believed that for a person born under a particular zodiac sign, a particular gemstone is sure to be very lucky.

At Pundit Junction, find an exquisite collection of gemstones as rings and pendants. And gifting your loved one a nice little ring or a pendant as per their zodiac sign could be a unique idea. The loved one could try the jewelry on and off, whenever he wants, to match with his apparel, or all the time, but the magic and the festive spirit would always be there!

Alternately, you may even choose to go for some spiritual products at Pundit Junction, and that would be a wonderful idea for gifting. Your loved ones would be delighted over receiving such a present from you, as that shows your dedication towards them and your love for your family, or even relatives or friends. It’s definitely worth a try. You may choose to go for some of the classy products available at Pundit Junction, which could be Panchmukhi Hanuman Kavach pendant, or even a Sphatic Japa Mala.

With Pundit Junction, you can make shopping for gifting purpose hassle free. Find some fine selections in categories which include jewelry and spiritual, and be sure to find the perfect gift for your loved ones this holiday season.

Stuck in a Sexual Rut

Remember when. . .

  • The scent of your partner’s skin put a flare in your nostrils as you drank in their essence;
  • You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Love making could happen anytime and anywhere;
  • There was an underlying passion to everything you did with each other;
  • The smallest things mattered

Fast forward to the present. . .

  • You can’t remember the last time you made love;
  • Your partner is just a part of your daily routine;
  • Nothing seems to bring you together in passion anymore;
  • You wonder if this is all there is to your partner and your life together.

It sounds like your love life has fallen into a rut.

How did that happen and when? Is there a cure for what ails your private life? Without intimacy to bind a couple, the relationship may disintegrate into partners seeking intimacy elsewhere, bitterness, resentment and in some cases the breakup of a relationship where two people are pretty sure they still love each other. They just have no idea that they can re-capture that “new car smell” to their same, old relationship.

There are powerful hormones that flood your brain when you fall into love and lust. When you first meet adrenaline, oxytocin and endorphins are basically driving your every move. New relationship energy revs your sexual drive like a powerful engine! The tamest, most conservative person can exhibit sexual prowess like never before. On the other hand, others are fueled by the energy of another new relationship.

Most of us would agree that sex in the beginning of relationships is ecstasy.

Over time, those same hormones settle down and the two of you settle into being a couple. Your priorities shift to everyday living matters: jobs, children, ailing parents, bills, pets, chores and more. The list goes on and on. Less of your time is spent on conquering and discovering what makes each other tick. The hunt is over. You are now together so why bother right?

Sounds like it’s time for a tune-up to your relationship. As a psychotherapist and sex coach now with years of experience with hundreds of couples, I see this dynamic in 90% of the couples that choose to work with me. I’ve narrowed it down to. . .

FIVE WAYS TO CLIMB OUT OF YOUR SEXUAL RUT. This is the manual on how to make your engines purr for each other once again.

1. Stop What You Are Doing! Right now! I hear from frustrated couples that their sex life is or was actually still “ok”. There still experience orgasms. They love their partner and find some attraction enough to indulge them on special occasions. Often, however, a good book and a glass of wine or a football game leaves them feeling more fulfilled than a kiss from their beloved.

It’s time to do an about face and stop everything you’ve been doing up to this point. STOP IT! Don’t “do it” anymore like you’ve been doing it. It’s not working for either of you and you’re going through the motions like robots. So what do you do now?

2. You shall give or you shall receive, but not both. Not tonight. Realignment of your relationship starts with a simple but powerful Tantric exercise. This is an important exercise and one to be taken seriously. It can have significant impact on your relationship and your sex life.

Decide together whose turn it is tonight. Spend 20 minutes together where one person gives and other person receives. There is no reciprocation. There is no mutual, consensually-agreed upon sharing. The receiver is at choice and decides exactly what he or she wants and makes a request (or several during the 20 minute time-frame). The giver is also at choice and can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The key is that if you are a ‘yes’ to your partner’s request, then go all in and give to him or her in the ways that s/he invites during the entire 20 minutes.

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There are some couples which have realized the importance of bisexual women. They have therefore taken a step of looking for bisexual couple dating site. The work of such couples has been made easy because these couples have virtual meeting places with these women. It is easy to get things going when a couple meets a bisexual woman on best bisexualdating sites who has been looking for such a couple. They can surely find some interesting and make things much more easier. So be sure about what you are looking at, and make up your mind before you go ahead. So what are you waiting for.

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The Legitimization of Bullying

When I was in Grade 4, I struggled with an ability to read, especially when asked to read in front of the class. I wasn’t dyslexic but I was quite shy, and not at all confident about my intellectual abilities relative to my peers.

Unfortunately, I had a teacher who, I discovered many years later, had a reputation for being a bully that extended far beyond the city of Winnipeg where I lived for that one terrible year.

At the time, I didn’t consider the fact that she encouraged the kids in the class to laugh at the many mistakes I made while reading in front of them as bullying. Nor did I consider her a bully after I stopped reading and began to cry helplessly at the front of the classroom and she still didn’t stop the student’s laughter.

In fact, she continued to encourage it.

I didn’t blame her when those same kids openly mocked me while chasing me all the way home after school day after day.

Now, I feel differently. I believe she played a significant role in legitimizing bullying behavior in her students. She led the way, and her students followed suit; her behavior gave them permission to act in a similarly cruel and unfeeling way – the way bullies act.

To the extent that bullying behavior continued in those same children when they grew up. I’ll never know. But what is clear to me now is the crucial role that adults play in teaching kids appropriate ways to behave – and not by saying so, but by doing so.

This is my story of a year of bulling, and not a terrible one relative to what we’ve heard about the many children who’ve suffered bullying for years. And now, too often, publicly on the Internet.

Far too many of these young victims decide to escape their torture by killing themselves (both figuratively by isolating themselves, and literally by taking their own lives). Bullying – at any level and toward any person – needs to stop, and we must come to see that we all need to play a vital role in making it end.

The purpose of this article is to highlight what years of researchers have come to understand: that a large percentage of kids who engage in bullying behavior have learned how to act in this way – either directly or indirectly – by the adults who have had the greatest influence on them such as parents, older siblings, relatives, teachers, media personalities, and so on.

In other words, the bullying behavior has been legitimized by adults, and more often than not, the recipients of bullying often results in these same kids going out into the world with the motive to ‘rewrite’ the story of their own powerlessness through a continuous string of ‘zero sum games’.

That is, where they must gain at the expense of someone else’s loss – and the loss of ‘the other’ more often than not includes perpetrating the same bullying behavior they themselves were victim to during an earlier stage of their own lives.

From my experience over the years as a psychotherapist, I see two types of individuals arise out of childhood bullying:

Those who make a silent promise that they’ll never, EVER, let anyone dominate them again and, thus, they become bullies themselves; and,
Those who’ve become hyper-vigilant to the pain of others because they’ve experienced a great deal of pain themselves as children and can, therefore, relate.

Typically, these are empathetic individuals but ones who suffer from their own wounds, for example, being overly-sensitive to the reactions of others.
Yet, for all its pluses and minuses, I thankfully became the latter type of person, as the choice of my profession reflects.

Regardless, research results indicate that we are indelibly formed by what we experience as children, and if you’ve ever been the target of bulling, you know exactly what I mean.

No bullies in the White HouseSo why am I writing about this now? Well, I’ve been glued to CNN over the past several weeks watching the level of discourse between two U.S. presidential candidates drop to an all-time low – a low that I’ve never witnessed during any previous presidential campaigns during my lifetime.

I suppose I should say that both of these candidates are equally bad but, in my opinion, they aren’t. And, although my political leanings might be reflected in what I’m about to write, I really don’t care.

Speaking up against the kind of bullying that I’ve witnessed on the part of Donald Trump is more important to me than remaining politically anonymous.